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Script


  • [A movie, "The Hunt for Dinosaurs" starts. Credits roll to the sound of pedal-steel guitar. The movie stars CatDog, was directed by Cat, and features Daggett and Norbert. The movie starts. It is paleolithic times. Ickis, as a monster, comes onscreen menacingly, and is chased away by a club-wielding caveman–Cat. A cavewoman (Daggett) comes onscreen, and Cat flexes for her. Suddenly, Jonny's giant head eclipses the screen. The music begins to sound choppy, as Dog, who is providing it live, cannot see the action and thus can't play.]
  • Sarah: Jonny, you blimphead! Move it or lose it! [She knocks him down.]
  • [Cat opens his fist and chuckles.]
  • Cat: Pay for Monday! There's big cash in showbiz, Dog! Unless you're on cable. Ha!
  • Kevin: What a rip! So lame, I'm ready to heave!
  • Cat: A troublemaker! [He rushes to Kevin's chair.] Is there a problem here, patron?
  • Kevin: This movie sucks eggs, so gimme back my money. [Cat gasps.]
  • Cat: [scared] Have some popcorn, Kevo! On the house! [He stuffs a bag into Kevin's mouth.]
  • Daggett: Why's he get free popcorn? I want free popcorn!
  • [Cat groans and goes off to get the concession for Daggett. Norbert, seeing this, longingly looks at Nazz's popcorn. He reaches his hand in to take some. At that moment, Nazz reaches for popcorn and grabs Norbert's hand. She stuffs it into her mouth.]
  • Norbert: [apologetically] Can I have your popcorn, Nazz?
  • [A fight breaks out in the seats. Norbert goes flying.]
  • Norbert: Non-permission.
  • [Cat grabs a bag of popcorn from next to a popcorn machine and adds it to a pile he's carrying.]
  • Cat: [harassed] I want free popcorn, I want free popcorn. What do I look like, some popcorn fairy?
  • [Cat turns to give the popcorn to the moviegoers and trips over a prone Norbert. The popcorn goes flying.]
  • Jimmy: My eyes! [The bags have landed on Jimmy.] This butter substitute is stinging my eyes!
  • Kevin: Now that's entertainment!
  • Daggett: Mind your own beeswax! [He throws his drink at him.]
  • Sarah: Aw, did Kevin go boom?
  • Kevin: [getting up] Right. [Dog looks nervous.] FOOD FIGHT!
  •  [A rumble breaks out, popcorn and soda flying everywhere.]
  • Sarah: You missed!
  • Dog: [trying to calm the ruckus] People, please! Let's not behave like children!
  • Kevin: [holding a drink] Yo Norbert, think fast! [He cocks his arm, and Norbert tackles him.]
  • Norbert: Too slow!
  • Dog: Cat, do something!
  • Cat: [handing out concessions] Are you kidding me? [He ducks to avoid a drink.] I'm making a killing here, Dog! [Jimmy hands over a quarter and gets more ammo.]
  • Jonny: [untouched by the war] Far out, Plank. Three-D!
  •  [An angry Ickis stands in front of the movie.]
  • Dog: Ickis, is something the matter?
  • Cat: Well, look who decided to join us. [The sounds of a tussle eminate from the garage.] Hey, what's the matter with you!
  • [Ickis heaves the garage door open and throws the kids out.]
  • Ickis: I'm warning you! Unwanted pesterers!
  • [The kids look at him, bursts by this behavior. SpongeBob gets up.]
  • SpongeBob: Ickis! You listen to me, mister! You can't kick me out! I live here too!
  • Ickis: SO MOVE!!!
  • SpongeBob: [backing up] Heh. Heh. Okay, we better go. [The kids disperse.]
  • Kevin: You read my mind.
  • Jonny: Catch you on the rebound, slick!
  • Dog: Is it me, or is Jonny's vocabulary deteriorating?
  • Cat: [angry] I was holding em big time with that food fight! Till mister happy shows up and ruins everything. [Ickis grumpily heaves the garage shut and walks down the street.] Hey Grumpula! Wake up on the wrong side of those stale socks of yours? Hey Sourpuss! [Ickis walks on.]
  • Dog: A dark cloud seems to be hanging over Ickis' head, Cat. Our friend is a mere shell of the awkward, unvarnished, dunderhead we know and love. It's our duty to see Ickis through this plague of grief.
  • Daggett: Ah, the guy's a big baby. He's probably just got gas.

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